One of the many right-wing, conservative organizations I belong to sent me a list of companies who see an opportunity to capitalize upon the coming misery and despair of humanity as we run out of oil (and the price goes up) or as temperatures rise and cooling costs increase (and the price of oil goes up) or as climate changes, causing imbalances in ecosystems that create havoc and chaos (very lucrative, as we have seen in Iraq). But really, how much can we really invest in ExxonMobil and Haliburton?
I have a hedge investment. What if it turns out that all this hoo-ha about what those liberals call “global warming” and I call “balmy climate advancement” has any merit? Well clearly they are too afraid of their own shadows to know how to properly exploit the golden opportunity that balmy climate advancement affords. And that’s why, just as a hedge, I am giving all my conservative friends out there a tip: invest in those green funds run by the commies. For example, one group called Co-op America has suggestions for Social Investing: 7 Ways Your Investments can Fight Climate Change. If we all invest in their little companies, maybe we can smote those Prius-driving, bike-riding, organic-eating pinko-pansies for once and for all.
Ah sarcasm. If only I got paid for it I would be a rich man.